


Down Time

by reginliefvalkyrie



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 11:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13270221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginliefvalkyrie/pseuds/reginliefvalkyrie
Summary: FemShep, Garrus, and Thane are spending time together in Shepard's cabin.





	Down Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Andi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andi/gifts).



> I was asked to write some Shep/Garrus/Thane sometime back. I meant to do it sooner, but....anyway, this is me testing out the waters for Garrus and Thane. I have another, longer fic, in the works that's full of angsty fluff.   
> And they are totally not watching Ancient Aliens ^_~

            The three were watching an old human vid series ‘Old E.T.s’ in the commander’s cabin. Shepard had found herself a nice little niche between her boyfriends, even if Garrus was a little pokey. They were making fun of the theories and Thane was guessing what George Sucorus was trying to do with his hair.

            “I’ve decided. He’s unknowingly trying to copy a turian’s crest.”

            Garrus looked over Shepard’s head at Thane. “How?”

            “Perhaps he had some kind of vision. They seem to like using visions as an explanation when they can’t form a feasible one.”

            Shepard examined Garrus’ head the best she could from her lower position. “I can see that.”

            “Or perhaps he’s replicating a bird’s nest.” Thane shrugged. “Both seem plausible.”

            They laughed.

            “There.” Garrus quickly paused the vid. “That’s been bothering me since we started watching.”

            On the screen was an image of three rail thin figures with oversized cranials.

            “What has?” Shepard asked.

            “Every time they show their ‘old E.T.s’.” Garrus air quoted and Shepard was so glad she’d taught him that. “They’re always naked.”

            “Somehow, I’m not surprised you brought that up.”

            “I’ve been wondering about that myself.” Thane agreed. “Don’t you think it’s rather odd these possible aliens possess no clothing?”

            “Are they trying to suggest these ancient aliens, all those years ago, are more advance then we are now? So advance they don’t require armor?” Garrus scratched at his facial scar causing Shepard to elbow him lightly. “Even krogan wear armor and they have the strongest skin.”

            “What about volus?” Shepard cut in. “They wear their suits because of gravity, but are they wearing anything underneath?”

            “I really don’t want to imagine a naked volus, Shepard.” Garrus said flatly.

            “You brought up the naked aliens.”

            Thane was studying the image carefully. “Have you also noticed you can’t distinguish the sex of any of them?” Garrus and Shepard turned to him. “Are they male or female? All three look exactly the same.”

            “I can’t tell the salarian genders apart.” Shepard admitted.

            “Only salarians can.” Garrus assured her.

            “They have to reproduce somehow.” Thane carried on as if neither had spoken. “Even hanar have.”

            “Do not finish that sentence.” Shepard held up a hand. “I will die a happy woman if I never learn about hanar sex.”

            “Actually, siha.”

            Garrus shook his head repeatedly behind Shepard with a few mouthed ‘no’s. Since the turian had known Shepard longer, Thane took his advice and didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he asked. “Could they be similar to the asari? An entire species of one gender?”

            “So.” Shepard elongated. “The ancient aliens were like a group of naked asari?” She glanced at each of her boyfriends. “If either of you imagine that, I’m kicking you out of my room.” She smiled, clearly joking.

            “I’d like to see a group of asari do half of what you do.” Garrus nuzzled against the side of her head.

            Thane kissed her temple. “A true angelic warrior.”

            “Alright, you two.” Shepard laughed patting cheek and mandible. “No more thinking. We’re supposed to be decompressing or some other nonsense.”

            “By making fun of an old human vid that humans actually believed in once upon a time.” Garrus settled back into the couch.

            “It makes siha laugh.” Thane pointed out.

            Both men could think of what they’d rather be doing to decompress, but Shepard was in no condition to participate. Shepard’s loose-fitting pants indicated there was still chaffing. Mordin did what he could to dull the discomfort.

            “You know.” Shepard started the vid again. “The Collectors don’t wear clothes and I’m not even sure they have genders anymore.”

            Garrus chuckled. “Wouldn’t it be something if these ancient aliens were actually Collectors?”

            The room went silent except for the vid in the background.

            “That is a very terrifying thought.” Thane said slowly.

            “It’s probably nothing.” Shepard awkwardly laughed. “I mean, wouldn’t they just snatch us up then?”

            They went silent again.

            Shepard flopped back against the couch. “Way to go, Garrus.” She crossed her arms in a fake huff. “You’ve now ruined Old E.T.s for me.”


End file.
